I failed...and I failed a lot

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I failed… and I failed a lot 🤦🏻‍♂️

While traveling last week to speak at the WTS Conference, I found myself reflecting on how I've reached where I am today.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized how much we, as humans, tend to share only our wins. Especially on social media, where we celebrate our accomplishments but shy away from discussing our failures, fearing what others might think.

This has become so ingrained that we hardly think about failures at all. It creates a false reality for those looking at our achievements, leading to unrealistic expectations. People focus on what someone has achieved rather than how they've achieved it. And that's because the struggles, sleepless nights, sacrifices, and, most importantly, failures aren't openly shared, as if they're something to be ashamed of. But trust me, that couldn't be further from the truth! 🙂

The best kid in the class

best-kid

I used to be the top student in my class ✨. From kindergarten to grade 6, I never came in second. Then, in 7th grade, I switched schools and, for the first time, found myself in 4th place—beaten by three brilliant and smart girls! That was when I believed my “decline” began.

Back then, I failed to understand that studying wasn't just about grades. It was about learning and growing as an individual.

At university, I failed to get excellent grades. Sure, I did great in subjects like programming, but I struggled in others like business communications and Pakistan studies.

Failed interviews and health struggles

failed-interviews

I failed my first programming internship interview at Telenor Pakistan. I failed many interviews, either because I didn't prepare well or because I prepared for things that weren't even tested.

I also failed to take care of my health, often working 18-hour days with only lunch and bathroom breaks. Well, tea breaks too, of course! 🍵

Failed to get Visas

us-visa

I failed to get a USA 🇺🇸 visa three times. Yes, three! Even with letters from Google inviting me to conferences.

I remember going to the US Embassy in Karachi, full of hope, waiting in line after a strict security check, watching people around me either get approved or rejected. If you got the approval, you'd receive a yellow paper. If you got rejected, it was a white one.

I wanted that yellow paper so badly. After being rejected twice, I thought I'd finally get it on my third try to attend Google IO Connect in San Francisco. But I was rejected again. The reasons were never clear—perhaps I was young, unmarried, or didn't own enough assets. Who knows?

Years later, after I got a job in Sweden, got married, and had my residence card, I finally got the US visa without any issues. They probably felt more confident I wouldn't “disappear” into the United States.

Failed to learn optimally

failed-to-learn

Between 2012 and 2013, I started taking coding seriously. Windows Phone app development was the hot trend, and I jumped on the hype train, only to see it crash later.

When I started learning web development, I couldn't grasp CSS, responsive layouts, or media queries. I fell into the dreaded tutorial hell, endlessly consuming videos, articles, and PDFs.

Luckily, I had a friend, Aamir Shah, who I had a healthy competition with. Together, we read PDFs on web technologies, which helped me improve.

But I failed to prioritize what I needed to learn. In this era of information overload, I wanted to learn everything, and that caused me to fall behind. I even had multiple Google Sheets filled with to-do lists of what I wanted to learn. Though I couldn't tackle them due to work and other responsibilities, they always lingered in my mind.

Eventually, that Google Sheet got replaced by Notion—modern times, you know!

If only someone had guided me

guide

Through all this, I discovered how I wanted to learn programming, Angular, ReactJS, and other technologies. I only wished someone could have guided me earlier.

That's when I decided to give back to the community. 🚀

YouTube tutorials, articles, open-source contributions—I wanted to make sure others didn't struggle the way I did. Failures are inevitable, but they're stepping stones to success.

Much of my contributions are aimed at people in 🇵🇰 Pakistan, 🇮🇳 India, and neighboring countries.

What I've developed and shared

Here's a glimpse of what I've built along the way:

Conclusion

Failures are an essential part of the learning curve. They should neither be feared nor viewed as a source of shame. They shape us into who we are, and as long as we're giving our best, that's what truly matters.

Not everyone feels comfortable sharing their failures, and that's perfectly okay. What's important is how we choose to perceive our setbacks—as opportunities to grow, not reasons to hide. If we can embrace our failures without shame, nothing can hold us back.

I hope this reflection offers you a fresh perspective, one that isn't often discussed. It's my way of letting you see beyond the surface of my achievements and understand that there's always more to the story.

I wish you the strength to accept your own failures, as well as those of others, so we can all be more open, supportive, and grow together—just like flowers blossoming in a beautiful, shared garden.

Aameen